Sunday, June 6, 2010


       Thats one idea for staying cool on this (what Sicily feels like in August) Sunday. And if the Sirocco, the hot, dry and sometimes sandy wind off of Africa is blowing into the home town, you feel like you just stuck your head into an oven. The wind is said to drive Sicilians even more crazy than they already are. Example, they still cook over there in this heat. How unreasonable. And how do I know I have Sicilian ancestry? I have mushroom spaetzle plans later. Are we sure we want to turn on the oven? 

   In the meantime, I have a few ideas in case you are reasonable and want to stay cool and for reasons only you know have no air conditioning:

Live in a cave or hang out with someone who does
    The real estate people call it a "walk-in apartment," my friends call it a basement, as in, "you live in a basement!" (and then I cry) and I take it to the most primitive level and call it my cave. Call it what you want but in the summer my cave is about 15 degrees cooler than outside and even when its ninety degrees out there I don't have to turn on my A/C. Make sure you are under 6 feet tall if you move to a cave or you could end up feeling really tall. And if you like a lot of light then a cave is really not for you. The dark makes for good cool summer sleeping in. 

Watch a cold movie
     Last night we watched North Face about crazy climbers who attempted to scale an unfathomable man swallowing mountain in the Alps. There was a lot of bivouacing while nursing black frost bitten limbs and trying to stay awake in order to not freeze to death on the side of razor sharp cliffs while enduring the frigid winds of a snow storm in July. Look it up. I didn't know what a bivouac was either.

    I'm not 9 anymore and my Mom can't send me to Rob and Holly's house down the block in my Alf infant size life preserver to swim in their 4 foot over ground pool. (Why was Alf always on the telephone?) By nine years old I should have been trusted to safely swim because I totally had (and still have) a kick ass doggy paddle and I should have been over 4 feet tall at that age (and now) so instead of drowning I could just stand on tippy toes. 
    You don't even need to go to the park and share the sprinklers with pee pee brats, just walk down a nice block and someone will surely be watering their lawn. Or do what Marcy and Rocco did when they visited the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. When warned that the rose garden would be watered, they still went in, had the gorgeous garden to themselves and frolicked in the mist like teenagers. Thats just cute.

Clean out your fridge 
     Its probably not great to keep the fridge open on a day like today for danger zone reasons, but sometimes who cares? You'll live. So cool your brain and make room for more food you won't cook in the heat.

    This is old news but new to me. Just look at it. The Japanese made them 8 years ago. Freakish, yes, but they just stuck still growing watermelons in square cases so they grew that way rather than splicing Sponge Bob DNA into them. Sigh. You know you want a juicy slice of watermelon. And unless you're a Japanese billionaire sunning on your yacht, you want a round watermelon slice, because a square watermelon costs $80 bucks!

Watch a hot movie
Get fresh and re-enact the ice scene between Mookie and Tina in Do the Right Thing. Nuff said.

Make Iced Tea
   There is no other drink I want on a hot sticky day than some cool iced tea. Ice tea memories are summer afternoons at childhood friend Monica's house. She to this day makes Lipton Iced Tea from the powder that tastes exactly as sickeningly but amazingly sweet as when we were kids. In addition to the sugar powder from the canister she added about a gallon of granulated sugar. No wonder why we were able to roller skate like maniacs around the block four hundred times. 
   I stay away from the sugar juice these day and take the opportunity to make tea out of the collection of tea bags I amass in my cupboard over the winter. I buy such weird tea. And its nice to infuse the tea with fresh mint from the garden and sweeten it with honey while its hot. I just finished a batch of Earl Grey Green Tea Iced Tea. 
   Anyone have any good Southern Sweet Tea recipes? I had some for the first time at the GFM; the Southern chick above was serving it and warned me how lip puckering sweet it was. It was outrageously delicious.

Lie on marble
Take a cue from your kitty cats. Marble is super cool. And if you live in a guido neighborhood your home comes standard with a slab of marble somewhere. 

Make a salad
      Erik's famous Broccoli Salad: raw brocolli, veganaise, apple cider vinegar, red onions, red peppers, chopped pecans, sunflower seeds, and the secret ingredient, some good old sugar.


Mister Meatball said...

I just got back from Queens a couple hours ago, and it's like 25 degrees cooler here!!!

Another terrific dinner at Don Peppe last night. I trust you've been?

pizzacommander said...

cutest post ever, the advice couldn't come any sooner!

i don't know why i keep punishing my body by baking pizza at 600 degrees in this heat- i think i need a new hobby (or my own cave)

Morta Di Fame said...

you're sure you're from MN? cause thats crazy talk.

Micah | Coffee Machines said...

It looks like so Delicious :)

Roman Espejo said...

This blog is charming, Jen! I'm following you to enlight myself gastronomically!

Anonymous said...

Just like you, its my first time to see square watermelons! Nice! Looks yummy too!

- Jack -