Greek Villa Party

    Most of the craziness of the Greece trip revolves around my driving. I learned how to drive stick in Greece so from now on I am referring to myself as a Greek driver and am getting a small Greek flag to hang from my rearview, next to my guido Italian horn of course!
   After the best man suffered through me doing loops in a parking lot in Rethymno, a town where I bought what I am referring to as my "magic super-hero Greek driving sandals," I was on the right track, getting into first gear smoothly. 

   These sandals were not only super-comfortable but the shoe guy customized them for me and they were, wait for it...20 euro. What?!?! He also warned us to wear helmets and life jackets at the Greek wedding. We later found out its customary to fire machine guns at Greek weddings but the life jackets? Maybe they drown people who can't Greek dance? More on that later...

    Later that evening we were at a pre-wedding party at a villa in the mountains surrounded by ancient olive trees with a ridiculous view of the surrounding mountains and the Mediterranean Sea. 

     The villa was so luxurious and there was a bed in the kitchen. Yes a sexy bed in the sexy kitchen and if I ever customize my house my kitchen is where all the magic will take place. As you can imagine having a destination wedding in a no rules country like Greece can be rather stressful, but above, my best friend Elina is taking my advice very seriously: "Look hot and feel good." 

     I needed to get changed into my evening dress for the luxurious villa party, but Cody, the groom was so crazed running around that he forgot me on the top of the mountain. Thats okay, because I can stick drive, so a lovely accomplice who knew the way down the mountain escorted me back to the hotel. At the hotel we encountered the most extravagant Greek buffet.

     Iannis, the hilarious Albanian bartender, was there waiting for us. The previous night he had made me some fabulous mojitos, which the morning after I needed this Greek hangover cure of aspirin and orange juice to recover from. (Something about Vitamin C.)  Iannis would not let us back to my room before we did two shots of Raki and after I tried a few snails!
    "I can't drink Raki. I have to drive up the mountain!"
    "Thats okay," my Canadian friend told me, "You're driving Greek!" (I think "Canadian" and "Greek" are interchangeable in this sentence.)
    If I hadn't drank the Raki, which is Greek moonshine made from grape stems and leaves, I don't think I would have had the courage to eat the snails. The Raki basically burnt a hole in my chest and probably destroyed half of my taste buds. Most Greeks joke its like drinking rubbing alcohol. I smuggled some home and was advised to drink it mixed with warm honey. 

    As for the snails, I was pleased. Iannis even pried them out of their shells for me. I held the snail and said, "This is a snail." Then I popped it in my mouth and said, "This snail is in my mouth." And after a bite, "This snail tastes good in my mouth." They weren't at all slimy, but like nice grilled calamari, and well seasoned.     After I put on my party dress, drank some moonshine and ate some snails I drove back up the mountain with Raki ony my brain to the villa party where there was plenty of drunk man dancing, plate breaking and lots of food. The dishes were all similar to what I had at the taverna the previous day, with the addition of a few pasta salads, one with tuna and peas, which I loved.

There was a ridiculous amount of liquor plus this drunken watermelon which was dangerously yummy.

     Can we discuss dessert? The above dessert was this phyllo dough number filled with an unbelievably creamy custard that Thea Roula made called Galaktoboureko, or as everyone liked to say instead, Galactic Booty Call. I was so busy eating dessert I didn't get the info on the below tray which I am calling Spicey Greek Brownies. They were light chocolatey and rum or moonshine soaked.

Here's Elina's Uncle; this man knows how to get down.